


I Know Not Everybody Has Got a Body Like You

by Kyra



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Bodyswap, Coffee, Crack, Dialogue, Flash Fic, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 08:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2342252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyra/pseuds/Kyra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Morning, Luke!" she says.  "How'd you sleep?  I think we switched bodies."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know Not Everybody Has Got a Body Like You

Lorelai's usually too bleary in the morning and dismayed by the fact that she's awake to even read her phone screen, let alone want to text anyone. This morning's a little different, though. 

She tilts her head to the side (ow, her neck cricks, that's new) and thinks how to phrase this.

"Have you ever woken up ... different?"

There's a pause -- she leans against the bathroom counter -- then the symbol that shows Rory's typing back.

"Falling out of bed-different or whose bad hair day is this?-different?"

"Freaky Friday different," she texts back and hits send just as there's a shriek from the bedroom, followed by a second, higher-pitched one.

In the bedroom, she sees herself, sitting up in bed, eyes like saucers, staring at her own hands. The her-in-bed looks up and shrieks for a third time.

"Morning, Luke!" she says. "How'd you sleep? I think we switched bodies."

\--

"This is insane," Luke is saying, sitting at the kitchen table in her bathrobe. His hands are flat on the table in front of him and he's staring at her manicure.

"So you have said," Lorelai notes, leaning back on the counter and sipping her coffee.

Luke shakes his head.

"But this, I mean, this -- boy, this is something else." Lorelai tilts her head, watching him. Is that really what her haircut looks like from this angle? "I just want to figure out how crazy this means I am an what drugs are going to fix this," he goes on, frowning more deeply. "And my head is _killing_ me."

Lorelai pauses and frowns down at the coffee. It's only her second cup and it's actually making her feel jittery. 

"Yeah, you'll probably have to have some of this, if you want to deal with that," she says, and leans over to put the cup on the table. 

Luke makes a face (with her face) and picks it up. "How addicted _are_ you?" he says and takes a sip, before making an even more scrunched up face and wow, she bets she looks cuter when she pulls off disgust. "And how much sugar did you put _in_ this?"

"Mmmm... I mostly just eyeball it, spoons slow things down," Lorelai says, sitting down beside him and shoving the sugar bowl his way, too. "You'll wanna get down two or three more cups if you want to deal with that headache situation."

That's when her phone starts ringing on the table. The screen shows the photo of Rory with her tongue stuck out and Lorelai grabs and swipes to answer it without thinking. Then freezes, mouth open, realizing.

'Here,' she mouths, shoving it toward Luke, who looks alarmed and shoves it back, shaking his head violently. There's a brief, silent tussle and finally Lorelai hits the speaker button and Luke clears his throat.

"Hi, uh, hi Rory," he says in Lorelai's voice, still looking panicked.

"Hey," Rory says. "Freaky Friday, huh?"

Luke looks at Lorelai blankly. She nods encouragingly.

"Umm. Yes?" he says hesitantly. There's a pause.

"Okay... " Rory says. 

"Tell her," Lorelai whispers. "But not too fast. Break it to her gradually. Tell her--" Luke waves her off.

"Um, Rory." He clears his throat again. "Your mother and -- I mean, Luke and I we, uh--"

"Is this going to be another car sex-related story?" Rory interrupts. "Because I'm still in my rocking-in-the-closet-hands-over-my-ears phase from that one."

Luke shoots Lorelai a horrified, murderous look. "You told her about that?!" he hisses, while she winces.

"Hey!" Lorelai leaps in brightly, without thinking. It sounds weird in Luke's rumbly voice.

"Oh, um, hi, Luke," Rory says. "I was just joking, um, if you heard--"

"So, that text," Lorelai interjects. "It kind of-- happened."

"What happened?" Rory says. "Mom... woke up feeling like me today?" Lorelai grimaces and gestures Luke back towards the phone.

"No, like me," Luke says. "Dammit, I mean like... Luke."

"... I am so confused right now," says Rory and Lorelai huffs out a sigh.

"Look, okay, can you FaceTime?" she says. 

"Um, yeah, okay," Rory answers and there's a pause as the screen comes on. She's in her office, looking all scrubbed up and professional. Lorelai needs to steal that peter pan collar collar necklace next time she visits.

"Hey guys," Rory says, looking between them. 

"Uh. Hello, Rory," Luke says, straightening up.

"Luke and I switched bodies," Lorelai blurts. Rory and Luke both stare at her.

"I still don't get it," Rory says.

"There's nothing to get," Lorelai says. "I am him. He is me. We're walking a mile in each other's moccasins. We're The Hot Chick without Rob Schneider."

Rory peers at her through the screen.

"... Luke?"

"It's true," Luke sighs. "I don't know what to tell you. But it's true."

"... Mom?" Rory says.

"Yep," Lorelai says with a weak laugh. This feels more real now. "That's me. Don't be fooled by the burly scruffy thing. Sure did birth you." Rory's still frowning. "Um, let's see, I can do a pretty mean Shirley, Shirley, bo birley, banana fana fo firley, fee fie mo mirley, Shirley. Last week you called and we talked about whether we should do a Clue / Clueless double feature night next time you're home or go full on Tim Curry with Rocky Horror instead. Ummm. You had a crush on Michael Landon in Bonanza when you were in second grade -- oh, and also, look, would Luke be eating this?" She holds up her Pop-Tart (strawberry frosted) and takes a bite.

"When did you get that?!" Luke squawks. "Don't put that corn syrup food coloring in my body."

Rory's squinting at them on the phone screen. 

"If this is a bit, you guys are really selling it."

"I can make Luke eat some kale if you want," she says, nudging him. "Hey, Luke. Eat some kale. Oh, or one of your horrible veggie smoothie things."

Rory puts her head in her hands.

"How -- what -- " She looks back up at them. "How?"

"Three excellent questions," says Lorelai. "I was hoping you could use your Girl Friday connections and look up whether this has ever happened to anybody else and oh, you know, how to put us back in the bodies God gave us."

Rory looks dubious but huffs out a sigh.

"You know Girl Friday was the assistant, right? At least call me Lois Lane."

"I love you, Lois, you're a doll," Lorelai says, blowing a kiss, and Rory and Luke give her twin looks of abject horror.

"Do _not_ do that with my face," says Luke. "Or my voice."

"I gotta go," says Rory at the same time, sounding unsettled, and hangs up fast.

Lorelai puts the phone down and takes another bite of her Pop-Tart, just to see Luke's reaction. (And 'cause: yum.)

"Put that down," says Luke. "At least let me make you some eggs."

"You're a doll too!" she says brightly, bouncing up from the table. "And I can go get you dressed. I can't wait to see how fabulous you look in something besides flannel."

"Hey, no picking out any weird outfits," Luke says. "And no looking at me naked!" he calls after her.

"I see you naked all the time!" she calls back on her way upstairs. (Two at a time! Long legs!)

"That's different!" he shouts.

\--

(The day goes either downhill or uphill from there, depending on your perspective, and by the end of it everyone has learned an important lesson about not eating boxed cookies Kirk is selling door-to-door. At least not unless the box is in English.)

**Author's Note:**

> Written in a day for the bodyswap square in 5 fics 5 days. Props to ladyblahblah's [Through Blind Men's Eyes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/329721/chapters/532085) for exploring the important caffeine-related dimensions of bodyswapping.


End file.
